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Let's get some shoes, betch.

The Summer of Weird Politics and Lazy Footwear

I have to tell you. This summer has been amazing. Amazingly crazy. I mean. Turn on the news or log onto twitter and it’s crazy. Armageddon-y af out here. And not in that like, meteoroid-hits-earth-Bruce-Willis kind of way. Like real shit. Real, deeply embedded shit that no one has wanted to talk about for years.

And this. If you need any more proof-positive that Americans have been infiltrated by a legion of cyborgs, feast your eyes upon this absolute horror show. Ah, how we love fear and entertainment and bad nose jobs.


But, alas, I’m not here to talk about that. Because everyone is talking about that. We’ve all been inundated by THAT and there are miles to go before we sleep. But, let’s face it, we’re kind of already asleep. We love distractions. Sports, high fructose corn syrup and train wrecks that we can watch from the comfort of our air conditioned condos. I blame the assembly line. Train wrecks make us feel better. It’s like a good ol’ pat on the back…”ah…guess my  life isn’t that bad after all.”

But we should continue to see the Trump camp for what it is—a parody of the greatest magnitude. A joke, not to be taken with any grain of seriousness whatsoever.

But I wanna talk shoes.

Because I love shoes. I love summer shoes even more. I love sandals. I’m wearing some righteous flip flops right now. Crocs, to be exact, because I’m a true believer in keeping your feet happy without losing style. Also I dance so I’m always on the hunt for a well-made sandal.

So here it goes. Ladies and especially men, if you wanna keep your love-life intact this summer, you gotta keep a clean set of toes.

No one wants to be sitting in a staff meeting staring at your onychomycosis. Put painly, not only is it disgusting–it’s contagious. Keep those feet locked up tidily in a sock or go get a pedicure.

Cheaper still, grab some tea tree oil at CVS. No one wants to share a public sidewalk with you and your feet if they look like this. Furthermore, you’re a public health risk and ain’t nobody got time for that. And you might end up on wikifeet.com and not in a good way.

photo credit @simonsshoes

So please, go find yourself a pool, stay cool and go peep this great contest at Simons Shoes and win a free pair of Nuria Espadrilles. It ends tomorrow!

And check back next week. Maybe we’ll be conquering ratchet tattoos, pastel hair or Pokémon Go.







About Kristen Damasida

Writer and Photographer for Virago Magazine, Kristen grew up listening to vinyl and highlighting the dictionary. Her work has appeared in IrockJazz.com, The East Harlem Journal, Boston's Culturehive, the Ithacan and other publications. Her love of music cannot be eclipsed by her love of words. She's been coined the "Akira Kurosawa of Blogs" by such people as herself. An aspiring musician, she has a serious penchant for peach-flavored anything, multi-tasking, slow-paced thrillers and dreams of going back to South America, laying on the beach, and drinking from a coconut.

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